EP 23: 3 Ways You're Self-Sabotaging

Growth & Grace Podcast Episode #23

EP 23: 3 Ways You're Self-Sabotaging

Many of us are engaged in self-destructive behaviors that have become habits. We allow these behaviors to continually undermine success and happiness, but we may not even recognize that we’re doing it. Self-sabotage is when we do something that gets in the way of our intent, or of our bigger dreams and goals. We want something, but somehow we never accomplish it.

Why? Because somewhere deep in our subconscious we’re fighting against that goal.

Your subconscious probably sees self-sabotage as self-preservation; a way to safeguard and defend yourself, even if it’s no longer needed. Some of our self-sabotage is so subtle it’s easy to miss. We often fail to recognize how our actions are keeping us from the life we dream about.

  1. You fail before you ever start. I've said it so many time, but seriously mindset is everything. What you think matters! I think I've talked about it before, but when I was a counselor I did a lot of group therapy sessions taking about the thoughts, action, outcome framework.

    1. Thoughts

      1. What you think

    2. Action

      1. What you do

    3. Outcome

      1. What happens because of what you do

    4. They all impact one another, but it starts with what you think.

    5. Job Example

      1. Thoughts

        1. I'm not qualified.

        2. I'm not good enough.

        3. They probably won't even read my resume.

        4. They need someone with more experience.

      2. Action:

        1. You don’t apply

      3. Outcome

        1. You don't get the job

      4. What you think directly impacts the life you want! Your negative thoughts are sabotaging you before you ever get started!

  2. You're not producing massive action.

    1. Passive VS Massive Action

    2. Passive Action is the prep, is it the research, it is the mindlessly scrolling on the socials. It is when we have worked all day and feel like we have nothing to show for it. If we stay in that passive action space, then it is hard to feel productive…to build momentum.

    3. Massive Action, is the opposite. It is not researching about a new workout…but actually going to the gym and trying it. It's doing things, even small things, that start to make us feel productive and accomplished.

    4. You don't have to have it all figured out, just start!

    5. And I know it is scary to try new things, but real talk. Sometimes that fear never goes away. You have to do it scared!

    6. Perfectionism

      1. You tell yourself you can’t take action until the right time, or believe you need to perfect your skills before you move forward. These are forms of self-sabotage. Perfection is an impossible standard that keeps you from moving forward.

    7. You wont' get where you want to go, if you don't actually start taking action to that direction

  3. When you to start, you start TOO big and set unrealistic goals.

    1. You can absolutely get where you want to go, but you have to be realistic. Especially with timeline.

    2. Start small and build you way up.

    3. They say Rome wasn't built in a day, and it's true.

    4. I know that in this social media driven world, it seems like we have all of these people who become overnight successes…but you don't know the whole story.

      1. You don't know the education they completed

      2. The networking they have done

      3. The things behind the scenes things

      4. The years of showing up consistently!

    5. Make small, meaningful, consistent changes, and I think you will be surprised how far you go! If you are goal oriented, then setting small goals in increments is really good to help you stay motivated.