Growth & Grace Podcast Episode #5
3 Reasons You’re Stuck
Most of the things we worry about, we have no control over. If you can't change it, don't stress about it.
We so often allow the small things to set us off track . We write our own narrative based on facts we don’t’ have. We make problems that don’t exist. We over complicate solutions to problems that do exist. It never ceases to amaze me how much we let worrying control our thoughts.
Now, This is a lot harder for those who struggle with Anxiety. I want to acknowledge that. If you are feeling anxious and notice that you are starting to spiral, then what can sometimes be helpful is to start with a LOGICAL worst case scenario and then work backwards.
I know that sometimes our anxiety takes us to places that are just not reality. If you feel yourself spiraling in those ways, then I would really encourage you to work with a therapist. There are a lot of coping skills to help us stay grounded in reality.
But if you start with the most logical worst case scenario, then we often realize that we can handle that everything in between.
Worrying about the could ofs and should ofs and what ifs don’t move us forward.
Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t make a plan, but sometimes that worrying leads straight into number #2
And our fear of the unknown causes us to waste a lot of time. It paralyzes us from making progress.
We also waste a lot of time and energy trying to reinvent the wheel. We don't have good systems in place for our lives, and we spend time doing the same things over and over—giving us the feeling of productivity without really accomplishing anything.
Like, if you travel a lot and you make a different packing list for every time you go somewhere...instead of having a base list and adding extras based on the destination. Or running to the grocery store every day or every other day, instead of spending a little time meal planning and getting everything in one trip! We’ve done things, but not really accomplished much.
Most of us have triggers that support procrastination, and identifying those triggers could be huge! For example, you might say to yourself… I don't have time to clean the whole house, so I'll just leave the dishes in the sink. OR I don't have time to do a full work out, so I won't do one at all.
Wouldn't it be nice to at least mark the dishes off your to do list? And A 20 minute workout is better than a 0 minute workout.
We have to push past out tendency to want to push things off, because accomplishing even the small things can be huge in changing our mindset.
o Another way we waste time is focusing on Passive Action VS Massive Action.
Passive Action is the prep, is it the research, it is the mindlessly scrolling on the socials. It is when we have worked all day and feel like we have nothing to show for it. If we stay in that passive action space, then it is hard to feel productive…to build momentum.
Massive Action, is the opposite. It is not researching about a new workout…but actually going to the gym and trying it. It's doing things, even small things, that start to make us feel productive and accomplished.
A few episodes ago I talked about morning routines…most of those things were massive action items. If we start our day with accomplishing something, then it can set us up for success the rest of the day.
There are a few sub points to this:
First, and I would argue the number one thing that is causing you to stay stuck is Negative Self Talk
What you say to yourself is SOOO important. If you are telling yourself negative things, then those things start to become a self fulfilling prophesy. We begin to self sabotage without realizing it.
I see this with people all the time and trying something new. They say they are not good at something, without ever trying it!
If you tell yourself you're not a runner, then you'll never be a runner.
If you say to yourself that you're not a good cook, then you'll never pull out your pots and pans.
Sometimes it is something that someone else told us, and we hold on to it like it's gospel. I had a friend who had teacher tell her in elementary school that she wasn't a good reader…so she never read for fun. She didn't like the library, and was embarrassed to read out loud. It wasn't until she went to college that she realized that she really loved reading and now she write poetry to share with others.
What you say to yourself, and what you hold on to is SOO important.
Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve, the love and respect you give to others. One way to do this is Affirmations! Next week’s episode is going to be all about affirmations, and how to figure out what affirmation you need for yourself. Just a little teaser!
The second part of negativity is our attitude towards others, when we don't know the whole story.
In this social media driven culture, everyone is an expert. Everyone has an opinion. Things get heated quickly and it gets ugly.
We make judgements before we even know the whole story. Y'all. People are mean.
And I get it. I don't agree with everyone. It's okay to not agree. It's okay to not like everyone. It's okay to distance yourself from toxic people.
But at the same time, the only person it hurts to walk around with a chip on your shoulder, is you.
Referring back to #1 in worrying…let go of things you cannot control. Rinse and repeat!
So those are my top three things that keep you stuck! I’ll unpack some more of these ideas in episodes to come, but if you’re really feeling stuck and lacking direction. Then I encourage you to go on my website and grab my Freebie: 5 journaling prompts to self-discovery. Those prompts are a good starting place to shift momentum into a positive direction.